Paul was automated speech, bike riding through the park, snow falling, ready for redial, skipping stones in the pond, getting ignored again, visiting Aunt Lori after school & listening, listening, listening.

Paul was the measure of skin melting from bone;

 

A wrap up around the wound that will not be directly addressed.

 

Mostly, emotion is stronger, so we don’t remember the facts of what happened before,

 

A voting record or rhetoric.

 

again & again

 

a supposed straighttalk saying nothing at all

 

a promise, almost true

 

like Aunt Lori trying to patch a problem her philosophy continues to cause

 

a solution in emotion

 

not facts

 

as if fixing her broken arm

 

can happen with signing a cast

 

get well soon.

Paul “was it my fault?”

Paul was the child’s area of a hospital waiting room, small table with red&green plastic chairs, a fingerprint smudged television, monopoly & chutes&ladders missing pieces, his yearyounger sister playing cards with him, jacket under the chair, gum wrappers, empty water bottles, broken crayons, his crazy eight hand was poorly stacked, mostly drawing multiple cards drawing multiple cards until a play, until Aunt Lori’s name is called, the windows don’t let light in they reflect fluorescents each large pane a mirror back into jumping jittery legs, seating shifting positions, pretending everything is okay, draw again, draw again, shoes echo on tile, doors open automatically, fingernails disappear, a colouring book half filled.

Paul was “Where is that drunk? I need to talk to here about nearly burning my house down.”

Paul was to do:

•  
  • expand story
  • include more particulars
  • map story arch
  • plot is the usage of “and then”
  • include flash forwards
  • repeat
  • milk, OJ, beer
  • play with pacing
  • variations on a form
  • links & such
  • Aunit Lori still has a burn scar from that day
  • secondary characters
  • action
  • chapters or volumes?
  • update alternative pages, “Paul was about” “Paul was Chris”

Paul was on the phone. It sounded like:

 

[911 dispatcher]: Is your Aunt conscious, can she move?

 

[Paul]: I dunno, (yelling & coughing)

 

[911 dispatcher]: Hello? Is anyone there?

Paul was questioning the viability of such a form as a story. Did it have enough hold to keep readers reading? Was repeating enough? Do you really know who you are? Paul was uncertain? As in, present a teaser or an antidote upfront to entice, hold, keep people interested? What if the little comments were the most interesting parts?

 

Perhaps it was not enough? The need for clear narrative laid out, edible? But like everything else? Why post everyday? Why create such schedules? Can long word(k)s sustain themselves on the net? Can creating a pile of less make more? Paul was in the kitchen screaming? Paul was was not? Paul was in his den writing with a pen?

 

“form gathers force?”

 

What is training in writing? reading? A notebook, blue? Fire? the mozzarella sticks in the toaster over? Add whiskey? A husband leaving you? spacing for things unsaid? a dislike of persons who punctuate with excessive question marks? always four lies? sentences as stanzas? Thus spoke Paul? As in to the operator on the telephone?

 

He had a ghostwriter working for him? Coo coo clock in the kitchen? Where were we? To fill in the memories? In sweatpants? A stingray bike? blue? It certainly looked like work? But unpaid? Paul was unrevised? An action of pulling apart? Strings of melting cheese? Ironically that was her job? Is that irony? It was not true anyway?  

Paul was dialed 911.

Paul was fly.

Paul was the one who found Aunt Lori. Passed out at the kitchen table, cigarette smoldering the enamle table top.

Paul was how everything Aunt Lori cooked for him came from the toaster oven.

Paul was the kitchen table. A reconditioned white enamel top. You could barely see the cigarette burn.

Paul was in the kitchen. At least he was remebering the kitchen in Aunt Lori’s house.

Paul was an afternoon snack. Maybe toaster ovened pizza. Perhaps chicken nuggets, or mozzarella sticks. Nachos too. Mostly, to do with cheese.